tiredshoes:

A Festivus for the rest of us

(Source: gosly)

dailyseinfeld:

ELAINE: Hey, what are you reading?
GEORGE: Oh, uh, “The Falconer” by John Cheever. It’s really excellent.
ELAINE:  John Cheever, you ever read any of his stuff?
JERRY: Uh, yeah, I’m familiar with some of his writing. look, we gotta get back to work. We just had a big breakthrough here.
ELAINE:  Okay, I’ll leave you two alone.
JERRY: Okay.
ELAINE:  Maybe I’ll go visit my mother. She just bought me some new panties and they’re - all laid out for me.

dailyseinfeld:

GEORGE: Alright, so, go ahead.
JERRY: So we go back to my apartment..
GEORGE:  Woah. Whoa! Woah!
JERRY: So, we’re, uh, foolin’ around there.. you know, it’s getting a little passionate.. and, uh, she starts with the dirty talking.
GEORGE: Alright, alright, hold on! (Jerry has George’s full attention) Time out! Woah, woah!  What did she say?
JERRY:  Oh, you know, the usual..
GEORGE: No, I don’t know. How do I know the usual?
JERRY: Typical things.
GEORGE: What typical? Gimme typical. Gimme some typical.
JERRY: She says, uh.. (Mumbles something inaudible)
GEORGE: …That’s very dirty.  That’s absolutely filthy.

(via The Cheever Letters)

(Source: weird5cience)

dailyseinfeld:

JERRY: It’s the twirling that dazzles the eye.
GEORGE: I find it disorienting. Who buys an umbrella anyway? …You get ‘em for free in the coffee shop in the metal cans.
JERRY: …Those belong to people.

(via The Checks)

dailyseinfeld:

George: Did she do it on purpose?
Jerry: It was my fault, I told her the wrong door.
George: I was supposed to see her. She wasn’t supposed to see me.
Jerry: So what?
George: Well ordinarily I wouldn’t mind. But…
Jerry: But…
George: Well I just got back from swimming in the pool. And the water was cold…
Jerry: Oh… You mean… shrinkage.
George: Yes. Significant shrinkage!
Jerry: So you feel you were short changed.
George: Yes! I mean, if she thinks that’s me she’s under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.

(via The Hamptons)

(Source: kitteninspaghetti)

Will Arnett plays the Law & Order and Seinfeld themes on air guitar

(Source: jimmyconways)

(Source: radiofortheblind)

(Source: outofadelorean)